Today's Beginning Weight: After breakfast, with clothes on - 250.3
Spanx Size: E
Phase 2
I was doing so well. Then my school schedule kicked my butt. The last two weeks have been hectic, to say the least. I pack my food for the day with the best intentions, but most days I don't have a break to eat.
Take last Thursday, for example. On Thursdays, I begin work at the library at 8:00 a.m. I leave the library to attend my first class at 9:30. That class ends at 10:45. My next class begins at 11:00. I leave that class at 12:15 and rush back to the library so that the employee at the main circulation desk can have a lunch. I have to be back in class at 1:00, so I leave at 12:55, race to the bathroom (generally my first bathroom break since the morning began; this has solved my Spanx correction time issue), and sit down in my chair just as Dr. Brown begins her lecture.
I usually eat my lunch while I cover the circulation desk, but Thursday, I hadn't had my snack, so I decided to eat that, instead. However, it got really busy at the desk and I ended up eating a few blueberries and a slice of turkey sandwich meat. After class, I rushed to the store to pick up winter storm necessities, then picked up my kids. It was close to 4:00 when I got home. I sat down for a few minutes, then got up to fix dinner. There was never a lunch on Thursday.
Most of my diet failures have consisted of just not having the time to eat the necessary meals. (Though there were a couple of meals that consisted of pizza, and I did make a stop one day for frozen custard.) All of the sitting is making me retain large amounts of water in my legs. I weighed myself yesterday - even though it was the afternoon, I had slept half of the day away, and my legs were extremely swollen - and I weighed in at 253.4. So not as bad as I feared, but not losing anything more, either.
My birthday is Monday. The library is serving up Strawberry Shortcake for my birthday. I figured that was a safe birthday cake. Matt is taking me to dinner at either Bella Peppers or Red Onion. I guess we'll have to wait and see how well I behave on Monday.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
End of Phase 1
Today's Starting Weight: 248.2
Weight at the Beginning of Phase 1: 261.2
Total Weight Lost: 13 pounds
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: TODAY!!!
Being that I am at the end of Phase 1 and tomorrow begins a new love affair with fruit, I ventured out to Walmart after work tonight for blueberries & raspberries. Now, before you judge my choice of market, please understand there are only about four stores in Joplin from which to buy produce. Most times, Walmart is the way to go for fruit. Today they were having some major fruit issues, though. The entire banana stand was empty save for a make-shift sign reading, We are temporarily out of stock. Most of the strawberries were more green than red, and the cherries were carelessly, and, I dare say, a bit abusively, shoved into their place.
However, I got really excited when I saw the crate of blueberries. Pint upon pint were stacked. I giggled a little too insanely and a little too loudly (a girl gave me a funny look and quickly walked away) and started anxiously chewing on my fingernail. It was like waiting to be kissed for the first time - I'm not even kidding.
I picked up a pint to inspect, and was disappointed to find smooshed, wrinkled blueberries on the bottom. That just would not do. I picked up another pint and found mold. I chose another carton that looked fine, but when I opened the lid to inspect further, I found a huge mold growth hiding under the label. Carton by carton, pint by pint, I inspected and found mold.
The problem with this is if one blueberry has mold, you can bet your life's earnings the rest will have mold tomorrow and safely win that bet. There were probably forty cartons of blueberries. I inspected them all; and they all had mold. When I asked the produce kid what the probability was of there being mold-free blueberries hidden somewhere in the back, he gave me the same look as the fleeting girl and said, "Ma'am, we don't hide blueberries in the back." First of all, when did I become a Ma'am, and second of all, why don't you hide blueberries in the back? It's not that insane of an idea. I would. You know... so the customers would buy the older blueberries first, of course.
So tomorrow was going to be celebrated with a bowl of mixed raspberries and blueberries. Walmart was devoid of raspberries and only carried molded blueberries. And by the time I had finished searching the crate of blueberries, I was too tired to begin my search at another store. I guess my celebratory fruit will have to be served another day.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Saturday - The Lost Day
Today's Starting Weight: 247.6
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 1 day
So with one day left of Phase 1, I totally screwed up. I woke up late & left for work without eating breakfast. I substituted celery & string cheese for breakfast; had the same for snack with a serving of nuts. By the time I got home from work, way past my normal lunch time, I was starving. And dreaming of Chinese food. So we got Chinese food. And it was good, but I was exhausted after I ate it. No, really. Exhausted.
I took a two hour nap after lunch and woke up in pain. My arms hurt, my body felt heavy, my head felt hazy. I seriously felt like I had a hangover - at least what I imagine a hangover to feel like. And to further the suck, I didn't work out today and I know I will have gained weight when I wake up tomorrow. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck.
I guess you could say food has been a drug for me. And I just spent two weeks detoxing from crap, only to give in to my first strong desire. But I am impressed with and made happy by my body's response. It's nice to see that my previous perseverance was beneficial. Here's hoping for a return of willpower in time for the new week.
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 1 day
So with one day left of Phase 1, I totally screwed up. I woke up late & left for work without eating breakfast. I substituted celery & string cheese for breakfast; had the same for snack with a serving of nuts. By the time I got home from work, way past my normal lunch time, I was starving. And dreaming of Chinese food. So we got Chinese food. And it was good, but I was exhausted after I ate it. No, really. Exhausted.
I took a two hour nap after lunch and woke up in pain. My arms hurt, my body felt heavy, my head felt hazy. I seriously felt like I had a hangover - at least what I imagine a hangover to feel like. And to further the suck, I didn't work out today and I know I will have gained weight when I wake up tomorrow. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck.
I guess you could say food has been a drug for me. And I just spent two weeks detoxing from crap, only to give in to my first strong desire. But I am impressed with and made happy by my body's response. It's nice to see that my previous perseverance was beneficial. Here's hoping for a return of willpower in time for the new week.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Soup, Balls, & Ducks
Today's Starting Weight: 248.6
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 2 days
When I started Phase 1, I was sure I was going to blow my diet early. I thought I wouldn't get through Phase 1 without caving in to many of the foods I was to avoid. In the first four days, I didn't think Phase 1 would ever end. But with the end in sight, I don't feel like I've missed out on much. My cravings for bad foods, including take-out & sweets, are gone. I decided to taste Jif PB today and compare it to the all natural PB I've been eating. It was so sickly sweet, it didn't even taste like peanuts to me. When it was really cold out, I did long for some of my homemade chix noodle or cream of potato soup; but really, who wouldn't? I'm a fantastic cook and those are two of my best dishes! Instead of craving junk, today I got excited about sauteed asparagus & red bell peppers.
I opened my SBD handbook today to check out what I was allowed for Phase 2. Unfortunately, though not surprisingly, I won't be enjoying my potato soup anytime soon unless I can figure out a way to make it with sweet potatoes. And I need to find an alternative to egg noodles for my chix noodle soup, but other than the exclusion of sticky and Jasmin rice, there's not too much I'll be missing out on. My only concern is the careful measurements of certain vegetables and grains. We'll see how the transition goes.
Today I began integrating a six pound medicine ball into my workout. I like it. It's soft and cushy, so the pain sneaks up on you rather than being outright obvious. I continued with my abdominal curls, criss-crossy things, and added two more exercises to further kick my butt. Then I did this duck waddle move that Jillian from The Biggest Loser taught Ellen last week.
To get a glance at three workout moves from Jillian, check out this clip on youtube at www.youtube.com/watch?v+0CVJ1n4aLO . Happy waddling!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
HUZZAH!
Today's Starting Weight: 250.0
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 4 days
I have now lost 11.2 pounds - most of which I assume consists of my dignity, having posted my weight on the Internet. But, all the same, I feel very rock star.
Yesterday I began using an exercise ball. I did fifteen abdominal curls and fifteen of these cross-crunch things. I have immediate results: my abs are super pissed. I tried to do a repeat of these exercises this morning and thought I was going to die. Every curl sent spasms through my stomach. I can honestly say - those exercise ball thingies work.
Today I have begun working out the logistics of my diet once school starts up again. I bought some fruit-to-go cups and grilled chicken bites from Schwan's today. That should help make the meal preparation a little smoother. But do you know how much earlier I'm going to have to get up each morning? I mean, I really like my sleep. Right now, I think early mornings are going to be my kryptonite.
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 4 days
I have now lost 11.2 pounds - most of which I assume consists of my dignity, having posted my weight on the Internet. But, all the same, I feel very rock star.
Yesterday I began using an exercise ball. I did fifteen abdominal curls and fifteen of these cross-crunch things. I have immediate results: my abs are super pissed. I tried to do a repeat of these exercises this morning and thought I was going to die. Every curl sent spasms through my stomach. I can honestly say - those exercise ball thingies work.
Today I have begun working out the logistics of my diet once school starts up again. I bought some fruit-to-go cups and grilled chicken bites from Schwan's today. That should help make the meal preparation a little smoother. But do you know how much earlier I'm going to have to get up each morning? I mean, I really like my sleep. Right now, I think early mornings are going to be my kryptonite.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I Told You!!!
Today's Starting Weight: 252.4
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: Technically still 5 since we are at the beginning of the day.
Notice the decrease in weight... just overnight??? I told you! A little fiber goes a long way. I can't wait to see what happens when I have officially taken my diuretic prescription.
I laugh at your feeble attempts to bring me down, Body!
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: Technically still 5 since we are at the beginning of the day.
Notice the decrease in weight... just overnight??? I told you! A little fiber goes a long way. I can't wait to see what happens when I have officially taken my diuretic prescription.
I laugh at your feeble attempts to bring me down, Body!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
***TMI Disclaimer***
Today's Weight: 253.6
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 5
Tonight I had my book club meeting at Cheddars. I knew it was going to be hard finding something that fit my diet restrictions. I had grilled salmon, steamed broccoli, and a salad with balsamic vinaigrette. Sounds on track, right? Um... I started the meal with a mojito. And it was minty-limey yummy. And not at all on my diet. Strike one. And being that I had not had anything to eat in several hours, I started feeling very tipsy very early into the drink. So I ate the rice that comes with the salmon. So that made two strikes.
Then I ate some of the carrots in my salad. Strike three. Then afterwards, since the rice did such a great job of normalizing me, I had a rum chaser. And it was yummy. Strike 4 (obviously, with four strikes, I shouldn't be using the baseball analogy). And a rum chaser is made with three types of fruit juice, so strike 5. Oops. But tonight was the first time I've made any slips in my diet. Back on track and far away from baseball starting tomorrow.
I think I have figured out why I've slowly been increasing in weight. First of all, I have pitting edema, a condition which causes my body to retain water in large amounts, specifically in my hands and legs. I ran out of my daily prescription last week and haven't refilled. My legs and hands are a bit swollen, accounting for some of the weight.
Additionally, I have IBS, or irritable bowel syndrome (told you; TMI). My intestines are not my friends. They don't regulate food through my body the way they should. It's a horrible experience and a condition I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I realized the other day, that since starting my diet, my intestines have just about stopped working altogether. So today I went to Walmart to take care of my situations. I put in a refill request for my prescription; it will be ready in the a.m. I also made a few purchases. I've been out of acidophilus for a month or two, so I bought more of that (I'm supposed to take it daily). I also bought Citrucelle and a fiber supplement to... let's just say, move things along. I think in a couple days' time, I'll begin to see results again.
On a happier note, I'm not craving many of the foods I used to crave. I actually looked at a sundae tonight and didn't find it appealing at all. And I am loving my veggies and lean meats. I was craving Mexican the other night, so I made a fajita bake that didn't involve anything I wasn't allowed to eat. It was super yummy, and Matt was able to easily convert it into actual fajitas for his meal.
I feel better all around. I haven't had heart burn or indigestion since I began this diet - two things I used to have every day. In fact, I used to have to take medicine for these, but haven't since I began SBD. I began some weight lifting for my arms this week, and am getting geared up for starting next week at the University gym. I just feel good. And I know it is only going to get better.
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 5
Tonight I had my book club meeting at Cheddars. I knew it was going to be hard finding something that fit my diet restrictions. I had grilled salmon, steamed broccoli, and a salad with balsamic vinaigrette. Sounds on track, right? Um... I started the meal with a mojito. And it was minty-limey yummy. And not at all on my diet. Strike one. And being that I had not had anything to eat in several hours, I started feeling very tipsy very early into the drink. So I ate the rice that comes with the salmon. So that made two strikes.
Then I ate some of the carrots in my salad. Strike three. Then afterwards, since the rice did such a great job of normalizing me, I had a rum chaser. And it was yummy. Strike 4 (obviously, with four strikes, I shouldn't be using the baseball analogy). And a rum chaser is made with three types of fruit juice, so strike 5. Oops. But tonight was the first time I've made any slips in my diet. Back on track and far away from baseball starting tomorrow.
I think I have figured out why I've slowly been increasing in weight. First of all, I have pitting edema, a condition which causes my body to retain water in large amounts, specifically in my hands and legs. I ran out of my daily prescription last week and haven't refilled. My legs and hands are a bit swollen, accounting for some of the weight.
Additionally, I have IBS, or irritable bowel syndrome (told you; TMI). My intestines are not my friends. They don't regulate food through my body the way they should. It's a horrible experience and a condition I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I realized the other day, that since starting my diet, my intestines have just about stopped working altogether. So today I went to Walmart to take care of my situations. I put in a refill request for my prescription; it will be ready in the a.m. I also made a few purchases. I've been out of acidophilus for a month or two, so I bought more of that (I'm supposed to take it daily). I also bought Citrucelle and a fiber supplement to... let's just say, move things along. I think in a couple days' time, I'll begin to see results again.
On a happier note, I'm not craving many of the foods I used to crave. I actually looked at a sundae tonight and didn't find it appealing at all. And I am loving my veggies and lean meats. I was craving Mexican the other night, so I made a fajita bake that didn't involve anything I wasn't allowed to eat. It was super yummy, and Matt was able to easily convert it into actual fajitas for his meal.
I feel better all around. I haven't had heart burn or indigestion since I began this diet - two things I used to have every day. In fact, I used to have to take medicine for these, but haven't since I began SBD. I began some weight lifting for my arms this week, and am getting geared up for starting next week at the University gym. I just feel good. And I know it is only going to get better.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Head Above Water
Today's Weight: 253.1
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 8 days
"Water is the only drink for a wise man." - Henry David Thoreau
I didn't drink enough water today. I didn't eat all of my meals. I didn't exercise. I'm retaining water. Bad diet day.
But I had freaking fabulous salmon. OMG good salmon. I made a salad tonight of romaine lettuce, chopped onions, cucumbers, grilled red bell pepper & asparagus, and Parmesan cheese topped with salmon grilled with rosemary seasoning. So good I could have had it twice.
Tomorrow begins the last week of winter break. Then I begin the rush that is university life. I have to get this diet pinned down this week. No more flaking out on meals and water and exercise. If I'm going to be able to stick with this diet once my crazy schedule begins, I have to train myself to be responsible when life is easy. One more week. I can make this work. And - drum roll please - last week of Phase 1. I'm so excited. I think my celebratory first Phase 2 meal will include a glorious serving of blueberries and raspberries. I've never looked so forward to a meal in my entire life.
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 8 days
"Water is the only drink for a wise man." - Henry David Thoreau
I didn't drink enough water today. I didn't eat all of my meals. I didn't exercise. I'm retaining water. Bad diet day.
But I had freaking fabulous salmon. OMG good salmon. I made a salad tonight of romaine lettuce, chopped onions, cucumbers, grilled red bell pepper & asparagus, and Parmesan cheese topped with salmon grilled with rosemary seasoning. So good I could have had it twice.
Tomorrow begins the last week of winter break. Then I begin the rush that is university life. I have to get this diet pinned down this week. No more flaking out on meals and water and exercise. If I'm going to be able to stick with this diet once my crazy schedule begins, I have to train myself to be responsible when life is easy. One more week. I can make this work. And - drum roll please - last week of Phase 1. I'm so excited. I think my celebratory first Phase 2 meal will include a glorious serving of blueberries and raspberries. I've never looked so forward to a meal in my entire life.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Bad Mood
Today's Weight: 252.4
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 9 days
Maybe the raise in my weight from yesterday was a sign; a bad omen from the digital world of scales: Today is going to suck. That's a bit melodramatic. It didn't suck all the way around. I watched 500 Days of Summer, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I had some really yummy veggies at dinner. I got a couple loads of laundry done and almost all of the dishes are clean. So, yea for productivity.
But I was supposed to help someone with something tomorrow night. I was really looking forward to it and was really excited about it. I was supposed to help last weekend, but got sick. I told them I was off tomorrow night from work, so they told me to plan on helping and they would email me the plan. I never got the plan. So I called today and they didn't remember last week's conversation and said they'd use me again in a couple of weeks. For some reason, this really upset me. I mean, my attitude went from really chipper to really bummed.
And my weight went up. So that sucks. Granted it wasn't by a huge amount, but, all the same. I'd like for it to just stay down, please. I have realized there is no reason for me to pay for my SBD website subscription when I have all of the info in my books at home. I tried to cancel my subscription tonight since my free trial ends Sunday and I get charged for the next 13 weeks Monday. Apparently, the SBD web people are only in office Monday - Friday 9 a.m. - 8 p.m. EST, so they had left when I started trying to cancel my membership. The best part, they won't be back until after my bank account has been charged. Freaking fantastic.
And I got my library work schedule and it conflicts with my class schedule so I have to get that all figured out (which really only sucks because I hate having to make my supervisor do any more work on the schedule; I adore her and the library and hate to complicate things there). Then I got my volunteer schedule for MLK Day and it conflicts with work and class so that sucks. And my phone won't charge and turn on, so people think I am just being rude and inconsiderate and that's not the case at all. And now I am just in this funk. And I dislike it.
For the diet portion of my day, though, everything went lovely. I ate only what I was supposed to eat. Drank eight glasses of water and a can of V8 today. I was more active around the house today, but I still didn't exercise. I'll work on improving that tomorrow, though. My new open schedule will allow for it. **hmph.**
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 9 days
Maybe the raise in my weight from yesterday was a sign; a bad omen from the digital world of scales: Today is going to suck. That's a bit melodramatic. It didn't suck all the way around. I watched 500 Days of Summer, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I had some really yummy veggies at dinner. I got a couple loads of laundry done and almost all of the dishes are clean. So, yea for productivity.
But I was supposed to help someone with something tomorrow night. I was really looking forward to it and was really excited about it. I was supposed to help last weekend, but got sick. I told them I was off tomorrow night from work, so they told me to plan on helping and they would email me the plan. I never got the plan. So I called today and they didn't remember last week's conversation and said they'd use me again in a couple of weeks. For some reason, this really upset me. I mean, my attitude went from really chipper to really bummed.
And my weight went up. So that sucks. Granted it wasn't by a huge amount, but, all the same. I'd like for it to just stay down, please. I have realized there is no reason for me to pay for my SBD website subscription when I have all of the info in my books at home. I tried to cancel my subscription tonight since my free trial ends Sunday and I get charged for the next 13 weeks Monday. Apparently, the SBD web people are only in office Monday - Friday 9 a.m. - 8 p.m. EST, so they had left when I started trying to cancel my membership. The best part, they won't be back until after my bank account has been charged. Freaking fantastic.
And I got my library work schedule and it conflicts with my class schedule so I have to get that all figured out (which really only sucks because I hate having to make my supervisor do any more work on the schedule; I adore her and the library and hate to complicate things there). Then I got my volunteer schedule for MLK Day and it conflicts with work and class so that sucks. And my phone won't charge and turn on, so people think I am just being rude and inconsiderate and that's not the case at all. And now I am just in this funk. And I dislike it.
For the diet portion of my day, though, everything went lovely. I ate only what I was supposed to eat. Drank eight glasses of water and a can of V8 today. I was more active around the house today, but I still didn't exercise. I'll work on improving that tomorrow, though. My new open schedule will allow for it. **hmph.**
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Long December... Uh, January
Today's Starting Weight: 251.8
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 10 days
It's so cold! Four degrees? Really. I am freezing. And what do I love when it is this cold? Hot chocolate with marshmallows. What can I not have? Hot chocolate with marshmallows. Suck.
Another problem I have with the cold is the limitations it has placed on me in regards to activity. I do not want to take my kids out in this crap. The roads aren't bad, but it's just cold enough that our crappy car would probably break down somewhere. I refuse to take that chance with my kids. I mean, right now it is 4 degrees with a windchill of -15! What the heck??? That means we have spent a lot of time this week snuggling under blankets, watching movies. Great moments with the kids; however, diet fall backs.
I have not been active. I have not been exercising. Mostly, I've been laying around under massive blankets trying to get warm. So I kinda feel like I am only doing half of my diet. I'm eating all the right things, just not doing anything to work off those good calories. Good calories can be bad if they're not used properly.
And I also realized I am not drinking enough water. Before bed last night I realized I was really thirsty. Thinking back over my day, I counted only two glasses of water and a 6 oz. can of V8. So I need to increase my water intake. Today I managed a glass of low-fat milk and three glasses of water. That's a little bit better, but not anywhere near what I should be drinking per day.
Today's diet meltdown was over Velveeta shells & cheese. I made some for the kids and I thought I was totally going to cave. When I started squeezing the cheese into the pan, some of it landed on my finger. I stood there, staring at it like I was a model trying to walk away from a free line of coke. Finally, I ran, literally, to the sink and washed my hands.
The problem with this diet is not that it is making me eat crap I don't like. It's simply walking away from the things I do. Like blueberries and raspberries in the produce aisle at Dillon's yesterday. OMG they looked so good. Blueberries and raspberries are possibly my favorite foods in the entire food world, which makes it difficult to abstain from them when they are at their prettiest right now.
An unexpected bonus, though, **TMI disclaimer** has been the extra boost in my sex drive. It's been pretty low for some time, well, since around the same time I started gaining the weight. Not that the act of has happened more than usual, just that I am a little bit more interested in it than ten pounds ago. I don't even know if Matt has noticed, but I have. And I guess right now that is all that matters.
Pressing forward to tomorrow...
Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 10 days
It's so cold! Four degrees? Really. I am freezing. And what do I love when it is this cold? Hot chocolate with marshmallows. What can I not have? Hot chocolate with marshmallows. Suck.
Another problem I have with the cold is the limitations it has placed on me in regards to activity. I do not want to take my kids out in this crap. The roads aren't bad, but it's just cold enough that our crappy car would probably break down somewhere. I refuse to take that chance with my kids. I mean, right now it is 4 degrees with a windchill of -15! What the heck??? That means we have spent a lot of time this week snuggling under blankets, watching movies. Great moments with the kids; however, diet fall backs.
I have not been active. I have not been exercising. Mostly, I've been laying around under massive blankets trying to get warm. So I kinda feel like I am only doing half of my diet. I'm eating all the right things, just not doing anything to work off those good calories. Good calories can be bad if they're not used properly.
And I also realized I am not drinking enough water. Before bed last night I realized I was really thirsty. Thinking back over my day, I counted only two glasses of water and a 6 oz. can of V8. So I need to increase my water intake. Today I managed a glass of low-fat milk and three glasses of water. That's a little bit better, but not anywhere near what I should be drinking per day.
Today's diet meltdown was over Velveeta shells & cheese. I made some for the kids and I thought I was totally going to cave. When I started squeezing the cheese into the pan, some of it landed on my finger. I stood there, staring at it like I was a model trying to walk away from a free line of coke. Finally, I ran, literally, to the sink and washed my hands.
The problem with this diet is not that it is making me eat crap I don't like. It's simply walking away from the things I do. Like blueberries and raspberries in the produce aisle at Dillon's yesterday. OMG they looked so good. Blueberries and raspberries are possibly my favorite foods in the entire food world, which makes it difficult to abstain from them when they are at their prettiest right now.
An unexpected bonus, though, **TMI disclaimer** has been the extra boost in my sex drive. It's been pretty low for some time, well, since around the same time I started gaining the weight. Not that the act of has happened more than usual, just that I am a little bit more interested in it than ten pounds ago. I don't even know if Matt has noticed, but I have. And I guess right now that is all that matters.
Pressing forward to tomorrow...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
OMG
Today's Morning Weight: 252.8
Spanx Size: E
Spanx Size: E
Days Left of Phase 1: 11
The theme for today: OMG. Apparently the scale wins. I surrender. And gladly. Almost eight pounds since Monday?!? OMG.
Today started late for me. Due to a sick child in the middle of the night, Matt let me sleep until 10:30 this morning. I awoke, fixed breakfast, and then we all went for groceries. After shopping, the kids and Matt got some food at McDonald's. OMG. Those fries smelled so good. Leaving the drive thru, I had to roll the window down to get the smell away. When we got home, I hid in the bedroom until everyone was done eating. SO MUCH TEMPTATION! My mind kept running over the options again and again. What would one fry hurt? and Just a bite isn't really going to deter my diet. and Oops. Some ranch got on my finger; I could just lick that off. (French fries are eaten with ranch in my house.)
Did you know that McDonald's coats their fries in sugar to get that golden brown color achieved when fried? Did you also know that McDonald's includes a "natural" flavor to their fries that is derived from beef? In doing so, they have made 1) their fries very addicting; and 2) the consumer to desire a hamburger after consuming some fries. That same beef flavor - also contained in their chicken nuggets. What is that all about?
And parents across the nation have been feeding these things to their children since the 1960s. When children's taste buds are developing, we hand them their happy meal and say, "Here. Eat this sugar-loaded carton of greasy french fries. Not only are they addicting, but they're in a fun box, advertised by a circus clown, and accompanied by a surprise toy! We reward your gluttony with this toy!" So then the kid attributes happy and rewarding memories to those fries, and, as an adult, every time they smell those same fries, their brain reaches back to happy childhood memories and they succumb. But today, I was not one who succumbed! No; instead, I watched episodes of Gossip Girl on Youtube and prayed for my turn in the kitchen.
Since I didn't have breakfast until eleven, I skipped lunch. Meals today were good, but OMG - the evening dessert. I have never tasted anything so delectable in my entire life. Well, I'm sure that is not true, but in the last three days? Nothing like this. The South Beach Peanut Butter Cup may have saved my life. With it, I know I will make it through. Matt asked if it was really diet food. When I said yes, he offered to only eat diet food for the rest of his life.
To make your own, take:
2 tbsp natural, sugar-free peanut butter
1 sugar-free fudgepop
2 tbsp fat-free frozen whipped topping
- Scrape the fudgepop off the stick into a bowl, mix with the peanut butter, and fold in the whipped topping. Enjoy the OMG yumminess. We did.
Email me at queenshamlet@live.com for any other recipes you find intriguing.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Not Possible!
Today's Starting Weight: 255.4 or 257.2... Either way, seems very debatable.
Spanx Size: E
Days Left of Phase 1: 12
Last night I went to bed with a mighty plan in mind: I would wake at 7, eat breakfast, fix snack 1 & lunch, hop in the shower, get ready, & go to work where I would consume said snack and lunch. The mighty plan would allow me three hours to do everything I needed to do and get to work. I was very excited about this plan. As I began falling asleep, a brilliant fiction plot tingling at the edges of my mind, I thought to myself, I'm so lucky to have a husband that wakes me every morning. And then I fell into a deep sleep.
You can see where this is going, I am sure.
Cut to 8:45 this morning, just an hour and fifteen minutes until I have to be at work when I woke from said sleep, my wonderful husband sleeping in for the first time in... maybe ever. I didn't just wake. My eyes peeled open like the skin of a banana, the sunlight gazed my cornea, and I felt a warm body next to me. I made a bit of a commotion then, jumping up and climbing, an act better described as scrambling, over my still sleeping husband. I ran into the hallway and realized my kids were still asleep. At least, they had been before my outburst. Matt made my breakfast, I made the snack and lunch, got clean and dressed and headed out the door six minutes before I had to be at the store.
Yes, it is true I live very close to my work. No, it is not true that I can make it there in six minutes without breaking a few laws. So, laws were broken while I shoveled scrambled Southwestern Egg-Whites into my mouth. I arrived without breaking anything or anyone, save a few speeding restrictions. At work, I tried to eat my snack, but the cilantro mayo was too much for my feeble taste buds. I ended up eating my salad when I got home.
These trivial moments are not really important, though. Before I stepped into the shower, I stepped onto the scale. Now, please remember, Dear Readers, that just yesterday the same scale scowled at me from under the weight of 261.2 pounds. This morning, standing in my pajamas - same pajamas I took the previous shameful weight in - the scale read 255.4 pounds. Now, I am a realist. And a pessimist. There is no way in... well, in all of the scalding flames of hell that I lost almost 6 pounds in one day. There just isn't. So, I got cleaned, dressed, and stood on the scale again.
I stood very still, watching the lines blink in the reflection of the bathroom tile while the scale computed. I am always so afraid to move when I check my weight; what if a simple movement, such as looking down, causes the scale to read incorrectly? When I check my weight, I stand on the scale, my head straight, my eyes peering down like those movie librarians peering over their glasses, waiting to see a jumbled reflection of numbers, rather than lines. Once I see the numbers, I finally allow myself to move.
So the numbers arrived. I glanced down to read... and the scale read... 257.2. Clearly there was an error. So, I weighed myself three more times. Each time, the numbers read 257.2. What??? Even after seeing the numbers, my mind refused to accept it. I told the scale, "We'll just see tomorrow," like I was threatening it with punishment, or something.
So here is my new rule. Every morning, I will perform my weigh-ins in nothing but my skivvies. This will help to rule out any unintentional mis-weighs. I think that is only right.
But, just in case you are like me and every other child that ever peeled the wrapping paper back trying to get a glimpse at the present underneath (Come on - I know you did it, too.), let me leave you with this unbelievable truth. Tonight, after dinner, I went to the bathroom. I stepped on the scale, fully clothed. It read 261.2. I checked it many times. I stripped to my skivvies, stepped on the scale, and it read 257.0. I called Matt in, made him stand on the scale. Then I made him stand on the scale holding my pile of clothes. What did we find? A 4.2 pound difference. Lesson? Weigh without your clothes, Ladies. The truth is much more pleasant than the lie.
Spanx Size: E
Days Left of Phase 1: 12
Last night I went to bed with a mighty plan in mind: I would wake at 7, eat breakfast, fix snack 1 & lunch, hop in the shower, get ready, & go to work where I would consume said snack and lunch. The mighty plan would allow me three hours to do everything I needed to do and get to work. I was very excited about this plan. As I began falling asleep, a brilliant fiction plot tingling at the edges of my mind, I thought to myself, I'm so lucky to have a husband that wakes me every morning. And then I fell into a deep sleep.
You can see where this is going, I am sure.
Cut to 8:45 this morning, just an hour and fifteen minutes until I have to be at work when I woke from said sleep, my wonderful husband sleeping in for the first time in... maybe ever. I didn't just wake. My eyes peeled open like the skin of a banana, the sunlight gazed my cornea, and I felt a warm body next to me. I made a bit of a commotion then, jumping up and climbing, an act better described as scrambling, over my still sleeping husband. I ran into the hallway and realized my kids were still asleep. At least, they had been before my outburst. Matt made my breakfast, I made the snack and lunch, got clean and dressed and headed out the door six minutes before I had to be at the store.
Yes, it is true I live very close to my work. No, it is not true that I can make it there in six minutes without breaking a few laws. So, laws were broken while I shoveled scrambled Southwestern Egg-Whites into my mouth. I arrived without breaking anything or anyone, save a few speeding restrictions. At work, I tried to eat my snack, but the cilantro mayo was too much for my feeble taste buds. I ended up eating my salad when I got home.
These trivial moments are not really important, though. Before I stepped into the shower, I stepped onto the scale. Now, please remember, Dear Readers, that just yesterday the same scale scowled at me from under the weight of 261.2 pounds. This morning, standing in my pajamas - same pajamas I took the previous shameful weight in - the scale read 255.4 pounds. Now, I am a realist. And a pessimist. There is no way in... well, in all of the scalding flames of hell that I lost almost 6 pounds in one day. There just isn't. So, I got cleaned, dressed, and stood on the scale again.
I stood very still, watching the lines blink in the reflection of the bathroom tile while the scale computed. I am always so afraid to move when I check my weight; what if a simple movement, such as looking down, causes the scale to read incorrectly? When I check my weight, I stand on the scale, my head straight, my eyes peering down like those movie librarians peering over their glasses, waiting to see a jumbled reflection of numbers, rather than lines. Once I see the numbers, I finally allow myself to move.
So the numbers arrived. I glanced down to read... and the scale read... 257.2. Clearly there was an error. So, I weighed myself three more times. Each time, the numbers read 257.2. What??? Even after seeing the numbers, my mind refused to accept it. I told the scale, "We'll just see tomorrow," like I was threatening it with punishment, or something.
So here is my new rule. Every morning, I will perform my weigh-ins in nothing but my skivvies. This will help to rule out any unintentional mis-weighs. I think that is only right.
But, just in case you are like me and every other child that ever peeled the wrapping paper back trying to get a glimpse at the present underneath (Come on - I know you did it, too.), let me leave you with this unbelievable truth. Tonight, after dinner, I went to the bathroom. I stepped on the scale, fully clothed. It read 261.2. I checked it many times. I stripped to my skivvies, stepped on the scale, and it read 257.0. I called Matt in, made him stand on the scale. Then I made him stand on the scale holding my pile of clothes. What did we find? A 4.2 pound difference. Lesson? Weigh without your clothes, Ladies. The truth is much more pleasant than the lie.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Day 1, and Counting
Today's Starting Weight: 261.2 pounds. Yech.
Starting Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 13 Days
Day one of my diet, and I feel... **gasp** full. Surprising, right?
A few years ago, I took South Beach lunchables to work and dropped ten pounds - from my belly. Without even trying. So when I decided to go on a diet last year, I went with what I knew would work. I started the diet, ignorantly, right before a long list of celebratory events that included cake and ice cream and pie and yumminess and I fell off the wagon before I ever began. The South Beach Diet Super Charged Handbook ($25.95 hardback) and The South Beach Diet Cookbook ($27.95 hardback) became nice shiny paper weights.
Having spent the aforementioned $54 and change on the required reading, I pulled the handbook and cookbook off the shelf yesterday and began creating my diet meal plan and shopping list. To further commit myself to the plan, I spent $65 of my hard earned cash on a subscription to the South Beach Diet webguide. (I rationalized spending the money like so: committing even more cash to this diet in such a trashed economy will guarantee my attentions; and, the first week is a free trial of which I can pull out at any time.)
The website is not as user friendly as Dr. Agatston's team probably believes. However, it does offer some great tools. I set my beginning date and it created a full menu for the week. I then went through the menu, and switched out whatever meals I did not want (mostly egg-based breakfast items). I clicked on the menu items for recipes and the shopping list basically wrote itself.
Cooking for the fam was easy. For breakfast, they scrambled to finish off the Cinnamon Life Cereal, possibly the greatest temptation living in my house today. For lunch, the kids had grilled cheese sandwiches, grapes, and chips with Daddy. Daddy cooked. For dinner, everyone ate what Mommy ate. Neither kids ate the steamed green beans; Grace ate the "mashed potatoes," David did not. Matt said, "Are these potatoes?" I asked him what he thought they were. "Potatoes." I told him it was mashed cauliflower. His response? "Wow. I'd take this over mashed potatoes any day." Hmmm... I don't know that I'd go that far, but they were pretty good.
You may be wondering why I am putting myself through this humiliation, admitting my weight and Spanx size on a world wide mass communication format. By creating for myself an assignment, I have created a source of accountability. I had a dream last night that I woke up and had five followers to this feed, just overnight. I remember thinking in my dream, Wow. Now I really have to stick to this. Look at these people that really want to know if this works or not. Cheesy, I know. But I can't control the cheese in my dreams. It just flows.
When I woke this morning, I had no new followers. (My husband scoped it out last night, if that counts for anything.) I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but the accountability worked today. Because if I am going to slip up and dig my hand in the Cinnamon Life box, I may not be the only one who will know. As a girl who hates to lie, I'd feel guilty about pretending I had a perfect day when I didn't. And I'd have to sign on to my blogspot and write about how I didn't even have the willpower to last the day. And since the good opinion of those around me means that much to me, peer pressure will win out and I will persevere through this diet.
Day one: complete.
Day two: I'm staring you down, and I will be the victor.
Starting Spanx Size: E
End of Phase 1: 13 Days
Day one of my diet, and I feel... **gasp** full. Surprising, right?
A few years ago, I took South Beach lunchables to work and dropped ten pounds - from my belly. Without even trying. So when I decided to go on a diet last year, I went with what I knew would work. I started the diet, ignorantly, right before a long list of celebratory events that included cake and ice cream and pie and yumminess and I fell off the wagon before I ever began. The South Beach Diet Super Charged Handbook ($25.95 hardback) and The South Beach Diet Cookbook ($27.95 hardback) became nice shiny paper weights.
Having spent the aforementioned $54 and change on the required reading, I pulled the handbook and cookbook off the shelf yesterday and began creating my diet meal plan and shopping list. To further commit myself to the plan, I spent $65 of my hard earned cash on a subscription to the South Beach Diet webguide. (I rationalized spending the money like so: committing even more cash to this diet in such a trashed economy will guarantee my attentions; and, the first week is a free trial of which I can pull out at any time.)
The website is not as user friendly as Dr. Agatston's team probably believes. However, it does offer some great tools. I set my beginning date and it created a full menu for the week. I then went through the menu, and switched out whatever meals I did not want (mostly egg-based breakfast items). I clicked on the menu items for recipes and the shopping list basically wrote itself.
Cooking for the fam was easy. For breakfast, they scrambled to finish off the Cinnamon Life Cereal, possibly the greatest temptation living in my house today. For lunch, the kids had grilled cheese sandwiches, grapes, and chips with Daddy. Daddy cooked. For dinner, everyone ate what Mommy ate. Neither kids ate the steamed green beans; Grace ate the "mashed potatoes," David did not. Matt said, "Are these potatoes?" I asked him what he thought they were. "Potatoes." I told him it was mashed cauliflower. His response? "Wow. I'd take this over mashed potatoes any day." Hmmm... I don't know that I'd go that far, but they were pretty good.
You may be wondering why I am putting myself through this humiliation, admitting my weight and Spanx size on a world wide mass communication format. By creating for myself an assignment, I have created a source of accountability. I had a dream last night that I woke up and had five followers to this feed, just overnight. I remember thinking in my dream, Wow. Now I really have to stick to this. Look at these people that really want to know if this works or not. Cheesy, I know. But I can't control the cheese in my dreams. It just flows.
When I woke this morning, I had no new followers. (My husband scoped it out last night, if that counts for anything.) I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but the accountability worked today. Because if I am going to slip up and dig my hand in the Cinnamon Life box, I may not be the only one who will know. As a girl who hates to lie, I'd feel guilty about pretending I had a perfect day when I didn't. And I'd have to sign on to my blogspot and write about how I didn't even have the willpower to last the day. And since the good opinion of those around me means that much to me, peer pressure will win out and I will persevere through this diet.
Day one: complete.
Day two: I'm staring you down, and I will be the victor.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Yet Again, A.K.A.: Another Start
So, tomorrow begins another start at a better life. Please note: this is not an attempt at a New Year's resolution, though this could fall under such category despite my greatest intentions, as it is a new year and a new resolution. I chose tomorrow for this simple reason: I have exactly two weeks before spring semester picks up at my university. That gives me two weeks to get into the swing of things before college life picks and pulls at my schedule, to get my cravings under control before I am faced by candy-filled snack machines in every building. Two weeks before I begin long days of low activity, locked away in classrooms for the greater part of every day. Two weeks before I begin a race of time that makes fast food so convenient.I've always struggled with diets. They make me eat things I'd never think to eat and do things with my body I'd rather not do. It's not laziness. I simply dislike them. I've tried very hard on several diets; legitimately saw them through with no great results. With two-hundred and sixty pounds screaming at me that no diet has ever worked before and no diet will probably ever be successful, it's no wonder I leer in the general direction of tomorrow's new diet regimen.
Probably the only program that has ever worked for me has been pregnancy. Yes, you read correctly. When I was pregnant with my first child, I lost thirty pounds. No, not after - during. The doctor was bumfuzzled, constantly questioned whether I was eating the things I needed to eat. Honestly, I ate all the time! And, despite what you might be thinking, my baby was not huge. She was a healthy 7.1 pounds. I kept all of this weight off for a while. But after losing two babies during pregnancy in less than a year, I fell into bed and barely got out for anything but to eat. The result? I was roughly the size of a small boat.
In early 2007, we realized I was pregnant again. And, just as before, the pounds began to melt away. I lost a whopping forty pounds with my fourth pregnancy. I looked fantastic when my baby boy was delivered (or, at least fantastic in comparison to how I was used to looking; I was still overweight). However, as soon as I stopped breastfeeding, the pounds began to hop back on board. Apparently my stomach is the highest rated cruise ship for all things fatty, while my butt is the vacation destination for all the cool fat cells. The only problem is the vacation season never seems to end.
Over the last two years of my son's life, I have managed to find all of those original forfeit pounds, and then some. In fact, this last fall semester, I gained another ten, bringing my new horrific, shameful weight to 260 pounds.
It takes me nearly fifteen minutes to put on my clothes every morning, and not because I can't decide what to wear. Every day I get up, put on my "Higher Power" Spanx, a body shaper that reminds me of a suction cup disguised as bike shorts that ride all the way up to my bra. Once I've shimmied my way into these and tucked them under my bra band (so as to keep it from rolling down), I begin wiggling into my "Slim Cognito Body Shaping Cami" by Spanx. This is a tank-top contraption that, as directed by Spanx, I step into, rather than pull over my head. I believe this is because the people at Spanx are afraid of the possibility of death via strangling of their customers. After all, a dead customer is no customer at all.
Getting into my Spanx feels like I am trying to slide into a second skin, like the reverse action of a snake removing its outer layer. As a reward for my hard work, the "cami" rolls up from my waist under my clothes for the entirety of the day. I make several escapes to the bathroom throughout the day, not to use the restroom, as I am too afraid to take it all off, but rather to unroll the Spanx "cami" back to its original hiding place. My classmates must think I have a weak bladder, and I am sure one of my coworkers thinks I am stealing, as I duck into dressing rooms several times throughout my shift to fix my Spanx. I mean no disrespect to Sarah Blakely and her lovely Spanx; her products are marvelous. I only wear them because I understand their worth. However, as a fat girl, they have become the part of my day that I dread most.
Once I have finally dressed and I start to put on my makeup, I stare at my face, marveling at the beginning of what can only be described as jowls, and consider for quite a while how much faster my makeup must run out than the makeup of all my skinny friends. This then reminds me of how much body wash it took to get my entire body clean, and, subsequently, how I've been avoiding shaving my legs simply for the time and product it takes to get the job done. Thus, the act of getting ready in the morning is a much longer and more dismal act than that of the average girl, I am sure. It's a wonder I walk out the door at all.
It is, therefore, with all natural health fears also regarded, that I take another stab at this diet thing tomorrow. I have begun planning out my menu, which is proving to be quite the duty as my inability to eat eggs is causing a huge problem in my breakfast menu. Keeping in mind the three other people that will eat whatever I fix is creating another huge hurdle in my otherwise clear race track. But, I strive forward, hoping this time will take and I can close the doors to the famed five-star Fat Spa that resides in my gut, throwing out my Spanx for good, or, at least, a smaller size.
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